i'm bored. very much so. and too lazy to try to do anything constructive. poop. i like snatch.

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i think i'm starting to like oasis. is the is a good or bad thing? i'd appreciate some help here...
on a vaugly related subject, the music from snatch kicks about as much ass as the movie. especially the song they play after they steal the diamond and do the credits sequence, and the one they play for brad pitts final fight (which happens to be a bit called "fucking in the bushes" by oasis). hot damn. that's another CD i want. and a dvd. gosh that's a cool movie.

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i've been listening to a lot of metallica lately, and i've been wondering: what the hell does James sing about? I mean, i know that the strength of metallica is in the guitars, but most of his lyrics are just words that rhyme but make no real sense.

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well people, yours truely managed to fuck the site up SO bad, that i was forced to resort to this, which - although rather nice - is not made by ME, and is therefore inferior. anyway, the rest of the pages are they way they were meant to be. it's just this one that got weired out. i'll fix it. someday.
in other news, i also watched "dude where's my car?" last night. another very fun movie. i laughed. it was funny. the chad was great. anyway, that's all for now. see you later kiddies!

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I've just finished reading through the archive. Not sure why. just reliving days passed i guess. all that scrabble cheating, piracy, and emotional bleeding. Those were good days. I'm not sure why it seems like it's been so long, the site's only been up for about eight months. reliving old jokes, experiences,
feelings and misunderstandings. kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk [further "k"s censored due to space constraints. there was a fucking lot of them though] sorry, that was just me head hitting the keyboard. why does it feel like the end? everything seems to have stopped, or rather died. There's really no point, no future, and no reason why it all seems like that. I really dont want to go off on one of those long emotional bleeds. I never liked those. I mean, they seems so pointless, just a waste of time and energy. I always felt so silly after writing them, because they're so melodramatic, a state of mind the avoidance of which is one of my major life goals. I'm kind of in the
mind-set to write one right now, but i dont think i can really sum anything up. The one thing that keeps popping into my head are those styrofoam cups they lower into deep water, which get crushed by the pressure into little miniture versions of themselves, and hold that shape when they're pulled back up. it's just so....i want to drink myself stupid, but there's really no point in that either. Schools starting in like two days, but i dont really care. It doesn't really seem to matter at all. There was always something that could pick me up. Sometimes it was drugs, or booze, othertimes it was speed. But bombing hills while standing on the pedals with arms outstretched and eyes closed lost it's charm. So did weed, beer, and now just today, stopping in the car just before walnut park on walnut blvd, then flooring the gas and
constantly accelerating till the needle pushed 90 and the plastic minivan started to wobble and feel as though the wind would tip it over, knowing that the slightest wrong turn on the wheel would end it all, i felt nothing. absolutely nothing. I mean, a week ago i felt exhilerated, and little scared, but now it was
absolutely nothing. I have lost the ability to make my body sleep or wake up, as well as the willpower to leave the house. And the question of why is ever-present, but unanswerable. I hope i wont sleep in and not show up for school on the first day, which i'm realizing is a distinct possibility. Right now i want a motorcycle, a couple hundred bucks cash, and a big bag of weed. fuck school, fuck responsibility, fuck it all. Idaho, Nebraska, Maine? i'm not really sure where-to, and i know that it really wont be any different there, but my only real reason is that i still find the tactile sensation of wind on my skin pleasurable.
I really didn't want to do one of these, and worse this one wasn't philosophical, which was made up for with more self pity and whining. i really do want a fight club.

• • • • •

 

i just watched charlies angels. the one with drew barrymore, cameron diaz, and that cute asian chick who's name i'm not quite sure of and too lazy to look up. lucy liu, i think. anyway, i enjoyed it a great deal. and not just becuase it had a large helping of scantily clad atractive women, although that was deffinitly a factor. it was a fun movie, that looked like it was REALLY fun to make. it doesn't matter that it's not that good of a movie, it just radiates an aura of FUN. it makes me feel happy. :)

• • • • •

 

although i completely agree, i seemed to have missed that certain part of english culture while i was there. so my suggestion to simply be careful if you decide to visit, and NEVER gamble.

• • • • •

 

Never go to england. Seriously. The only reason i can see that someone would want to go to england is if they liked having people blow off their toes and carve out random chunks of flesh just because they looked at them the wrong way. Appearantly, basic human compassion and the sanctity of human life are not applicable in England. So if you like having your head smashed in car doors, being tied up while your feet are roasted with a candle, or having people hide the fire extinguisher and then set you on fire by spitting liquor at you and then lighting it with a match, be my guest and travel to england, but please make sure that you are fully insured.

• • • • •

 

lock, stock and two smoking barrels is the most fucked up movie i have ever seen, at one point i would have thought snatch was. but snatch is a dim shadow to the brilliance of lock, stock.

fucked up britts

• • • • •

 

zzziiiiiiippp....thud.

• • • • •

 

wisely put, young ubertopher. You are progressing quite nicely. I believe that one day you will be able to challenge the master for his throne. in the meanwhile, it's hunting season...

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poor lunchbox and his faulty technologies, wouldn't life be better without having to screw with all that crap? i've grown up without any game counsel of any sort and i live life happily, but for others; when some game doesn't come out for the right system, the world falls apart. you gotta stop being a slave of the machine

FIGHT THE MAN!!!

this public service anouncement was brought to you by ubertopher

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i am very angry.
it appears that there is going to be a sequel to jet set radio. "why do this make lunchbox angry?" you ask. becuase it's not going to come out on the dreamcast, the console that gave it life. no, it's comming out for the fucking XBOX. and that cheeses me off. now i'll have to buy one. goddamnit.

• • • • •

 

as i type, brodie and ubertopher are one their way home. tonight, we whitnessed the film-making spectecale that was "jay and silent bob strike back."
it was, unfortunatly, not quite all that i have come to expect from a kevin smith movie, but it was, nonetheless, very much an enjoyable flick. i don't think i've laughed so hard in quite some time. the scene with "good will hunting 2: hunting season," was comedic brilliance. in my opinion. as brodie said, this is a movie with alot of famous spots for stars that acutally work. so you don't go "hey, it's george carlin sucking some trucker's cock," you say "hey, it's some guy, played by george carlin, sucking some truckers cock!" see what i mean? they just work. especially mark hamill. cocknocker indeed.
anyway, if you like kevin smith, go see this movie. go see it even if you don't like him. you might like it anyway. or not. but it's worth a shot, and it gives some money to someone who is still, in my book, one of our time's best directors.
snoogins.

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hrrgg.
last night i finished what i hope to be the final cut of the tv movie. i need to run it by ubertopher and brodie, but i think it'll be THE ONE. sort of like neo. i needs a few tweaks, needless to say (the credits are too wide for one...sure didn't see THAT comming. stupid small-screened tvs), but all in all i've very pround. this must be sort of what it's like to have a child. except without all the diapers and stuff.
and look! no swearing! you knew i could do it. ;)
jesus christ i'm cynical.

...does that count as swearing?

• • • • •

 

while it's possible that the child-protection software (yes, that's what it is) on lauren's computer is scanning our page for the world "fuck," and so forth, i don't think that's the case. i think it's more likely that it simply won't let her go here because it doesn't have the right certificates. see, web servers (or the like) have something that tells a program such as that wether or not they are naughty or nice. ours doesn't have the "nice" label, so it won't let her in. although the more i think about it, the more i'm not sure. i just find it hard to believe that it scans the page...but anyway, as much as i love lauren, i'm not going to give up swearing so she can look at out wonderful site of happieness on her home computer. sorry lauren.
besides, what's the big deal? it doesn't hurt anybody... fuckity fuck fuck fuckfuck.
bah. now i'm just being contrary. i'm stayed up to late and now i'm grouchy and mean. so just ignore me.

• • • • •

 

X-files didn't exactly come to mind. Remember Ian Flemming? Ah, "classic bateman". and on another note, we need to cut out all those who-f******-who's, that's the reason you cant get to our site on Lauren's computer.

• • • • •

 

well, i'm bored, so i'm going to rant about shit that no one really cares about. who-fucking-hoo.

first off, i went to a wedding this weekend. that's why i wasn't here in corvallis, if you care. it was actually more fun that i thought it would be. i wouldn't nessicarily say that i had a great time, persay, but i did enjoy myself somewhat. i met a couple of kids at the wedding who were my age, and we hit it off and talked about a lot of things, including movies. i seem to talk about movies with alot of people. i wonder if they just do it to humor me. bah. it's always uncomfertable to meet atractive girls as functions such as weddings, becuase even thought they're not realted to me by blood, they are (however distantly) realted to my by marriage. and it wierds me out. it feels...wrong to think...naughty things about anyone who's even remotely related to me. ah well. it was fun.

second, i was unable to do any writing on the script, becuase after talking with brodie and ubertopher, i had difficulty figuring out how the script i was writing would end up like they wanted it. so i was stumped. i did, however, do some drawing that has further my understanding of one of the characters in one of my prospective comics, and came up with an idea for another comic. this other comic is about a guy named ian cole who works for the FBPA, or federal bureau of paranormal activity. now, before you go coughexfilescough, it's different. the people in the FBPA have various "paranormal" powers. x-men would probably be a more accurate comparison. for example, ian cole is a mage or sorcerer of sorts: he can use what we'd call magic. one of the people he works with (probably the eventual love interest), who's name is emily eileene lewis, is a vampire. and so on and so forth. anyway, i thought it sounded cool.

i also watched the jackal (with bruce willis and richard gere) this weekend. not the whole thing...but did see enough to see a guy who looked sort of like chris farley, only not quite as fat, get his arm blown off by bruce, care of a some huge fucking gun that fired 20mm depleted uranium slugs. then he got shot again, and died. bruce was kind of a jerk in this movie... but he got shot in the neck. so did cool hand luke. i watched part of that too. lots of people getting shot in their respective necks. but not in wayne's world, which i also watched. a great film that. anyway, i think i'm done now. see you all later!

• • • • •

 

mmm...64 slices of american cheese...*transcendant*

• • • • •

 

komm zu mir? It has come to my attention that the world is coming to it's end in approximately 29 minutes. Now, a web personality like myself learns some things over the years that he just cant say to the public. it doesnt seem to matter now...

The following people are gay:

Joe Pesci
Danny Devito
Kevin Costner
Larry
Moe
Daffy Duck
Micheal Eisner
Bill Gates
Steve Allen
Tim Allen
Zachary Ty Brian
Jonathan Taylor Thomas
Tim McGraw
Jo Dee Mesina
Allan Jackson
Keith Urban
Billy Ray Cyrus
Brooks
Dunn
Garth Brooks
Larry Bird
That guy who voiced Big Bird
Big Bird
Daryl Strawberry
Lars Ulrich
Slash
Sting
David Duchovney
Jim Neighbors
Joe Belushi
Jim Belushi
George Bush
Gerard Depardu
George Bush II
That guy from "rush hour"
Puff Daddy
P. Diddy
Sean "Puffy " Colms
Sean Hannity
Brenda Butner
John Gibson
Brit Hume
Al Gore
Al Gore II
Stephen Baldwin
Alec Baldwin
William Baldwin
Daniel Baldwin
Keenan Ivory Wayans
Damon Wayans
those other two Wayanses
Maryl Streep
Burt Reanolds
Clint Eastwood
that Orangutan who starred with Clint Eastwood
Yogi Bear
Bubu
Cheech
Prince
Britney Spears
Carson Daly
Carrot Top
Cheech II
Dan Akroid
Willie Nelson
Marlon Brando
Erik Astrada
Fabolous
Ja Rule
Juvenile
Nelly
Eastsidaz
Bob Dillan
Germaine Dupri
Lil Romeo
Master P
Justin Timberlake
Lance Bass
Joey Fatone
Chris Kirkpatrick
Nick Carter
Aaron Carter
Howie D
Brian
All for members of O-town
Tom Brokaw
Lars Ulrich
Tommy Lee
Fred Durst
Fred Durst II
Gene Simmons
Paul Stanley
Emminem
Emminem
Emminem
Emminem
Emminem
Ozzie Osborn
The fourth Beetle. You know, that guy that got stabbed
Emilio Estivez
The entire new cast of SML
Dave Foley(but in a good way>
Jacque Shirok
Ariel Sharon
Vladimir Putin
That guy who rules China
Emilio Estivez
Martin Sheen
Charlie Sheen
Charlie Brown
Lucy
Will Farrel
Micheal Douglas
Kurt Douglas
Keanu
Benicio Del Toro
Alex Trabek
Sean Connery
Pat Sajak
Pat Sajak
Pat Sajak
Colors that end in "urple"
The couch guy
Balloons for 800
Billy Bong Thornton
Wesley Pipes
Jalleel White
Erkle
Ricky Martin
Snickerdoodle
Prince Charles
Queen Elizabeth
Queen Elizabeth II
Queen Mum
Prince William
Prince Charles's Polo Horse
Val Kilmer
George Cluny
Micheal Keaton
Jack Nicholson
Jerry Garcia
Cherry Garcia
Donny Osmond
his three hundred or so siblings
Emilio Estavez, once again
Prince, just for good measure
A-rod
Dennis Rodman
Kobe Bryant
all those other professional athletes who get paid millions and millions of dollars to run around a fucking court with nine other sweaty men, and then strike because they aren't getting paid enough.
Allan Rickman
Chris Rock
Anna Nicole Smith
Shaft

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